


Precipice

by darthmelyanna, miera



Series: stargate_ren [21]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Renaissance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-24
Updated: 2008-03-28
Packaged: 2019-10-01 01:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthmelyanna/pseuds/darthmelyanna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miera/pseuds/miera
Summary: Elizabeth's visit to Neill yields some surprises for Laura, Kate, and herself.





	1. Chapter 1

  
The province of Heightmeyer was a beautiful place. There was hardly a tree in sight, but the many fingers of the River Tethys made the land lush and green. Much of the country's grain was grown in this region, and as the royal party from Atlantis made its way along the roads, they could see men and boys busy in the fields tending to their extensive crops.

However, half a mile away from Kate's family home, the farming stopped. Elaborate gardens, not unlike those in Langford, lined the road to the estate. The watchtower of the old fortress was visible some miles away. The age of the building was a monument to the wealth and importance of the people who lived in it.

Marcus had first seen the Earl of Heightmeyer five years ago when he'd joined the royal guard, but he'd been well beneath the man's notice until his promotion the previous fall. That had coincided with the change in his relationship with Kate, and every time Lord David had spoken to him since, Marcus had feared the earl had heard some rumor about the captain of the guard ravaging his eldest child. Still, he liked Kate's father, and he believed Kate's father liked him well enough, though perhaps Lord David's opinion would suffer once the truth of his daughter's involvement with the son of a commoner came to light.

After the lord and his lady had greeted the royal party, everything seemed to move far faster than normal, likely due to the brevity of the queen's visit. Had the situation not required Elizabeth's presence in Atlantis these past several days, she would have been in Heightmeyer for at least two weeks before moving on to Neill. Now they would only be at the estate long enough to rest for the remainder of the long journey south. Lady Maria seemed to want to pack as much of the original plan into just a few days as humanly possible.

Marcus had hoped to have some days to get to know Kate's family a little better before proceeding with his plans, but there was no chance of that now. If life in the royal court had taught him nothing else, at least he knew that plans existed so that fate could have something to meddle with.

He did not get the chance to speak to Kate immediately, though. The first evening she was occupied with the queen and her parents. It was only as he bid the ladies good night that he was able to snatch a moment to press her hand to his lips quickly, before Lady Maria, who had bustled into the bedchamber to ensure the queen's comfort, could turn and spot the gesture.

The next days were beyond hectic. Marcus was beginning to worry that he would not get the chance to speak to Kate alone until they were gone from here. He had a powerful ally, however. Elizabeth knew his intentions, and she seemed to guess that he had not had his chance. On the last night of the visit, Elizabeth emerged from the bedchamber with only Laura at her side. Kate, she informed Marcus, was staying within to take care of packing some of Elizabeth's belongings. The queen swiftly glanced between him and the door, and he knew what she meant. Marcus nodded to two other guards to follow Elizabeth and Laura as they walked arm in arm towards Laura's rooms. Once they were out of sight, he quietly entered the bedroom.

Kate looked up, surprised to see him enter alone, but she did not seem displeased. A bare ten seconds passed before she had crossed the distance between them and embraced him wordlessly. Marcus stroked her hair and her back, holding her tightly. Kate's family seemed nice enough but clearly the weeks she'd spent with them had been a strain.

He ducked his head to kiss her temple, and then he whispered, "I missed you, Kate." His lips brushed against her ear and she shuddered in his arms. Kate looked up at him, and Marcus could not help himself. He kissed her mouth hungrily, not letting her back away in surprise.

It was strange, standing in her childhood bedchamber and fiercely kissing her like this, but the odd environment, the purpose burning within him and most of all the chance of someone opening the door and discovering them thus entangled made his blood race. Kate began to respond to his caresses. Without thought Marcus stumbled forward until her back was pressed against a wall, pinned there by his body. He tore himself away from her mouth and moved down her neck, tasting her soft skin and feeling her try to suppress a moan of pleasure as she shifted against him. She loved it when he touched her this way.

Sated for the moment and mindful of his mission, he made himself stop. He pulled back to look at her, settling his hands on her hips. Her fingers traced the line of his cheek. "I missed you as well, Marcus."

He pressed a light kiss to her palm and grinned. "Remind me not to allow you to go so far away for so long again. I have been thinking about little else but this for days."

Her cheeks turned pink and he nuzzled her neck, enjoying the familiar scent and feel of her body. It really had been too long that they had been apart.

Kate's hands came to rest against his chest and pushed gently. "Marcus, we need to be careful."

He didn't move back. Instead, Marcus rested his forehead against hers for a moment and took a deep breath. "Kate, there is something I wish to talk to you about."

She stared up at him in silence. More to calm his nerves than anything, he brushed a stray piece of hair from her forehead. He hoped the look in her eyes was one of happiness, but there seemed to be some trepidation as well. "What is it?"

"I spoke with the queen a few days ago," he said quietly.

All the color drained from her face and her eyes went wide. "What do you mean?"

Though he had gone over his words a thousand times in his mind, everything he had planned to say fled when he saw her pale countenance. "I must have her permission to marry, and she has granted it wholeheartedly," he said slowly, hoping she would fill in the rest and he would not have to stumble through this.

Kate looked as though she wanted to shrink into the wall behind her, and he felt panic well up within him. She was frowning deeply. "Marcus, I – that is, I don't know –"

He stared at her in shock. "You don't know?" he blurted out.

She held up a hand. "I don't know that right now is the best time for this," she corrected.

Given that she'd spent so many days with her family, his thoughts immediately went to the most obvious obstacle. "Kate, we have the sanction of the queen on our side. If you are worried about what your parents will say, I know she will support us."

Kate shook her head, as though to deny his concern, but then she turned away as if she could not bear to look at him. "No, I know. It's just... I don't think..." She bit her lip. "I'm not sure..."

Whatever else she said was lost to him. He never would have expected Kate not to know her own mind and heart, and her ambivalence was like cold water thrown on him. He pulled himself back from her immediately.

Kate reached for him. "Marcus, please, we have to discuss this –"

"What is there to discuss?" he demanded, his temper rising as it had not since they had been in Iolan. "I want to marry you, Kate. I've never wanted anything more in my life! You cannot tell me you have never considered it."

Kate looked nervously at the door. His voice had gotten louder as he spoke and her fear of discovery now only served to anger him further. "That is not what I meant, Marcus."

"Pardon my disbelief, madam," he snapped, turning away.

"Marcus!" She grabbed his arm and he saw her hurt look. "There are things we need to talk about. Things we should have spoken of, but I did not want to face them so soon after the attack. It was wrong of me to wait, I know, but we still must talk, Marcus."

The mention of her injuries at the hands of Simmons thawed him slightly. He stopped resisting her hand on his arm.

Kate bit her lip again. "How can we discuss marriage when we cannot even speak of the argument we had? Or have you forgotten so soon what you accused me of in Iolan?"

Marcus felt his jaw tighten, the memory of Kate's flirtation with Aaron of Kensmere slipping unwanted into his mind and goading his temper even higher. "Given what happened afterwards, I am willing to overlook the way you behaved with that man," he told her flatly. "Once we are married, I imagine such things will not occur again." No other man would think he had the liberty to touch Kate again, not if Marcus could help it.

Kate's mouth fell open and she dropped his arm abruptly. "The way _I_ behaved? After your baseless and petty jealousies blinded you to the truth –"

"I saw the way you were around him, Kate," Marcus interrupted. "Though nothing formally existed between us I had hoped I would have your fidelity, if nothing else."

Her cheeks flushed a deep red, her face betraying both anger and shame. "You know exactly why I did what I did. I had no other choice. And you dare speak to me about faith?" Her hands clenched into fists and she stalked towards him, fury radiating from every line of her body. "You think I do not know your reputation in the court? You demand proof of my fidelity? What proof have I ever had of yours?"

Rage swept through him, amplified by his own guilt, although the rumors of his past had always been exaggerated. He had left that part of himself behind long ago. "I have done nothing to make you doubt me. My intentions towards you have never been a secret," he reminded her coldly. He could not believe Kate would cast these things up to him in this moment. It was cruelty he would never have suspected her of.

"Never been a secret?" Kate repeated. "Marcus, have you ever told me you love me?"

He gaped at her in shock. This was madness. How in the world could she doubt his heart? How else could she interpret his affection? "What better proof could I offer of my love than to ask you to be my wife?"

The coldness in her face struck him like a blow. "You could have asked me out of love, not because of a threat to your pride."

Before he could make any kind of response, she fled from the room.

* * *

  
Elizabeth remembered being aboard the _Queen Margaret_ for all those days and feeling as though the voyage would never end, but it turned out that the passage to Iolan was nothing in comparison with the journey straight south through her country. Until the moment she reached the foothills of the Talas Mountains, she had not truly understood how expansive a land she ruled. Traveling past the fields and forests and rivers and lakes was exciting and humbling all at once.

Only in Heightmeyer did they stay more than a night. Elizabeth had wanted to give Marcus as much time as she could to press his suit with Kate's father. She was not sure that she had done any good, however. The situation between Kate and Marcus was now even more frigid than it had been in Iolan. Elizabeth and Laura were both very concerned about the state of affairs, but there were few opportunities to speak privately as they traveled. Never in her wildest fantasies had Elizabeth imagined that Kate might refuse Marcus, but the idea was growing more and more plausible with each passing day of angry silence between the two.

The coldness between them made the journey all the more difficult. Thus Elizabeth was greatly relieved when she first spied the southern mountains, thinking it would be only a matter of hours before she saw her dear friend Jack again. But the mountains loomed for days in the distance, and when they came upon them at last she was almost surprised.

Jack's family seat was not at all like Langford, with its sweeping architecture, the building impossibly spanning a great river, but the keep was none the less impressive. It seemed to spring forth from the forest-covered mountain, as old as time. The highest tower loomed over the very peak. As they began the climb up the slope to the fortress – for there was no other way to describe it – Elizabeth felt her heart racing as it had when they had approached Daniel's estate for the first time.

Kate was watching silently. Since leaving Heightmeyer she had barely spoken unless spoken to. Elizabeth suppressed a sigh on her account. She would have to confront Kate at some point, but she rather hoped that Kate would come to her, both as her queen and as her friend. Next to Carson, Laura was not even watching the approach as Elizabeth would have expected. She was unusually quiet, strangely pale, and staring at the floor as though in deep concentration. Elizabeth was selfishly annoyed that both her companions were acting so strangely as they approached the castle they had heard about all their lives.

Still, when the carriage finally came to a halt in the courtyard of the fortress, Elizabeth smiled to see Jack waiting to help her out. "It is good to see you again, my lord," she said to him as he bowed.

"And you, my lady," he replied, drawing her into a brief embrace. "Was it a good journey?"

"Interminable," Elizabeth said while the others got out behind her. "I cannot fathom how you have made the trip so often."

Jack laughed. "It is easier when one has no choice in the matter."

She smiled back at him and took his arm when he offered it. Beyond him, she saw several men in the crisp uniforms of officers, probably men of the mountain watch towers. With them was a young man whom Elizabeth would have recognized no matter where she met him, for he was the image of his father.

"My lady," Jack said when they reached the group, and Elizabeth let go of his arm, "allow me to introduce my son and heir, Charles."

Elizabeth smiled at him brightly as she offered her hand. "It is an honor to meet you at last, my lord," she said to the man, who was less than a year older than herself. "I have so long heard much about you."

Charles took her hand and kissed it lightly. "The honor is mine, my lady," he replied formally.

Jack began the rest of the introductions on both sides, but a sudden movement out of the corner of her eye distracted her. Elizabeth looked just in time to see Laura clutch her husband's arm as she weaved on her feet. "Laura!" Elizabeth cried, hurrying to her friend's side.

Laura did not faint. In the eleven years Elizabeth had known her, she had never known Laura to faint, but she was terribly unsteady now, when she was usually so graceful. "Laura, are you all right?" Carson asked while Kate and Jack and others hovered around.

"Dizzy," Laura replied. A thin line of blood was trickling from her nose, and her legs appeared to give out. She sagged into her husband's arms.

"Get her inside," Jack ordered. "She needs to lie down."

No one questioned him when he used that tone of voice, and in a rush of activity Laura was whisked away by Carson and two servants. Elizabeth, knowing when she was useful and when she was not, lingered behind. She looked at Jack in concern. "What do you think happened to her?"

He answered her with a question. "Was she out of sorts as you came up the mountain?"

Elizabeth blinked. "Yes, as a matter of fact, she was."

Jack nodded. "It's the mountain."

"The mountain made her ill?"

"You are not only much further south than you have ever been before, Majesty," Charles put in, drawing Elizabeth's gaze away from Jack. "You are also much higher. I am not sure what causes it, but some people do not take to the mountains well."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, for she thought she could detect a small amount of disdain in his voice. She turned her attention to his father, though, who looked both concerned and a little curious. "Will she recover?" she asked.

Jack nodded. "It could take a few hours or a few days, but yes," he told her. "It's not a permanent condition, but she needs to rest for now."

"I see," Elizabeth replied. She thought about Kate's sullen silence, now compounded by Laura taking ill. Already this visit was off to a wonderful start.

* * *

  
The sick room within the fortress appeared well-stocked and clean, from what little Laura could actually see of it. Carson had carried her here under the guidance of the servants. They were promptly met by the citadel’s resident physician.

"May I help you?" the doctor inquired politely.

"The lady seems to be suffering from the mountain’s grip," one of the servants explained.

"Ah, of course," he replied. He gestured to a small chaise. "Please, set her there." Carson wasted no time and did so, allowing Laura a better look at her surroundings, but she had no time to dwell on them when the doctor appeared next to her worried husband.

"Bleeding at the nose?" the man asked, though he clearly expected no answer. "Well, then, keep your head back, my lady."

Laura glanced at Carson, but did as she was told. Moments later, a cloth was pressed gently against her face, and her hand was taken up and pressed against it. "Just hold it there," the doctor instructed. "And pinch the bridge of your nose," he added. "It should stop on its own soon enough."

It was then that Carson spoke up, introducing them both. "Forgive the interruption, Doctor," he said. "I am Doctor Carson Beckett, her Majesty’s personal physician, and this is my wife and one of the queen’s companions, Lady Laura Beckett."

Beneath the cloth, Laura managed a faint smile at being called Carson’s wife. She could admit without reservation that it was a title she had yet to grow weary of hearing.

The doctor bowed his head to them. "I am honored," he replied. He then focused his gaze on Laura. "Lady Beckett, did you experience any ill symptoms on your journey here?" he asked.

Laura paused, thinking. When their group had departed Atlantis, she had felt fine, if a little tired. That, though, was understandable. She and Elizabeth had been kept thoroughly busy with soothing any other offended lords, as well as preparing for this next long journey away from home. Their visit with Kate's family had been anything but restful. Also, the carriage was hardly comfortable after so many days. The constant bumping along from Athos to Neill made her a little lightheaded a few times.

She said as much to the man, and he nodded. "Yes," he said, "weariness is only to be expected from a long journey from the north. Also, you have been moving about a great deal these several months, traveling with her Majesty, have you not?"

"Yes," Laura said. She took the cloth away from her nose and saw a large bloodstain. She winced a little, but it was quickly taken out of her hand by Carson, who then handed her a new one. "We have hardly sat still in one place for more than a week in the past month alone."

"I see. Well, nosebleeds are fairly common to those who have never visited Neill before," the man explained. "The mountain's grip, as we call it here, affects some newcomers but not others. The best course is to rest and remain quiet for a few days." He smiled kindly. "I daresay it will do you a world of good, my lady. However, if the bleeding continues or you develop any other ill feelings, please do not hesitate to return and speak with me."

She smiled at him in return. "Thank you, Doctor," she said. However, Laura was a little worried. She had only just made peace with Elizabeth in regards to managing both her duties as lady-in-waiting and as Carson’s wife. She did not want anything to disrupt the balance that had only just been restored, and Kate's odd behavior meant Elizabeth would need Laura's help. But there seemed to be nothing for it but to do as the doctor advised, at least for today.

They waited a few minutes until the blood flow was staunched. Carson carefully helped her stand. He then thanked the doctor for the extra cloths he provided for them and asked if he might come speak to him at a later time.

"Of course, sir," he said. "It is not often that I have another physician to speak with." The man smiled sardonically. "Most of the people who come through here simply wished to be patched up and don’t particularly care to know the specifics. I would be honored."

Laura smiled faintly at the exchange. Her husband was never, it seemed, without someone to compare cases with. But she was glad when Carson assisted her out of the sick room. The doctor’s recommendation of rest sounded wonderful at the moment.

* * *

  
After the scene in the wake of Elizabeth's arrival, Jack led her inside the castle with Lorne, Kate, and a few of the guards trailing behind them. Charles and most of the other men had made themselves scarce, so as not to overwhelm the queen immediately.

"I have heard that you've been busy since our last meeting," Jack said to her, his voice teasing.

He was somewhat relieved to see her smile, but also concerned when it did not reach her eyes. "You might say that," Elizabeth replied. Her voice dropped lower. "Perhaps we should speak now."

"You don't wish to rest?"

She shook her head. "No, it's best that we discuss this now."

Nodding, Jack led her to his study. Once they arrived at the door, however, Elizabeth paused and turned to Kate. "Could you check on Laura for me? See if she's all right?"

Jack was surprised when Kate barely reacted. "Yes, Majesty," she said, continuing on down the hall, one of Jack's own men escorting her. Jack also didn't miss the cold glance Kate sent Lorne's way before departing. He wondered for a moment what had happened there.

Shrugging the subject off for now, Jack opened the door and let Elizabeth walk in ahead of him. Lorne waited outside. Once they were both seated, Jack behind his desk, Elizabeth in front of it, Jack remarked, "So, things didn't go as well as some had hoped they would in Iolan?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Please, no lectures on my supposedly not giving Prince Radek a chance to win my affections, Jack," she said in exasperation. "I have already had that argument with Daniel."

"So I've heard." In fact, Daniel had warned him to tread carefully if he mentioned Elizabeth's courtship with the Iolanian prince. Daniel hadn't spared him the details in his letter, but Jack had no intention of lecturing Elizabeth. It was her decision and her life, not Daniel's or his or George's. Jack had learned his lesson with the Wallis disaster.

When he didn't press the subject, Elizabeth relaxed marginally and asked, "What news from the south?"

Jack was not surprised that her first question would be of Caldora. He answered her plainly. "The Caldorans have already engaged the enemy once and won, but they had the element of surprise, which they now have lost. Thor and the others are overseeing negotiations between the two sides, but he sounded less than optimistic in the last letter I received."

"Master Thor sent me a message that he and several of his brethren were going to Caldora, but he never explained why the Asgard were suddenly returning there, especially in the middle of an invasion."

Jack suspected Elizabeth knew half of the answer. "I asked Thor and the Asgard to assist. He and his people have long said that the time was coming for them to stretch out beyond the borders of Atalan again, and this seemed as good a time as any."

Elizabeth looked at him curiously. "May I ask what motivated you to involve yourself? I know you are not fond of Caldora in any particular."

Jack hesitated for a moment before replying. "I received a letter from the Marquis of Sheppard, asking for my assistance in delaying the coming attack. That was the reason I spoke to Thor."

There was a momentary pause as Elizabeth fought to maintain her composure. He had suspected that John of Sheppard was very much in her thoughts as they waited for news regarding the war. Knowing Daniel and George's opinions about the foreigner, Jack wondered if this was perhaps the first time anyone had broached John's name with Elizabeth in weeks.

He took a breath, and then added, "I also told him that the Tok'ra were on the move and would arrive as soon as possible."

"Let us hope they arrive in time to do the Caldorans some good," Elizabeth said quietly.

Jack nodded. "Did you find out anything new during your trip to the capital?" he asked her.

Her expression was closed. "Not what I expected, but definitely some things worth considering," she stated cryptically. "There seems to be little more that can be done concerning Kinsey," Elizabeth told him. "All of his faction claim they knew nothing of his treasonous activities."

Jack's mood immediately darkened and he stood up, snorting derisively. "Of _course_ they do." He scowled and stared at her hard, crossing his arms over his chest. "Is that why you brought Kinsey's wife and daughter to Atlantis and placed them under royal protection? Because they claimed they knew nothing?" His tone was sharper than he intended.

Elizabeth frowned at him. "Jack, there is no evidence that Lady Georgiana knew anything of her husband's activities, and I seriously doubt her daughter knew anything." She shook her head. "Besides, that is not what I want to talk to you about."

"Really?"

"Yes. I need to start making inroads with the rest of the college, cultivating their support," she told him.

Jack blinked. Whatever topics he might have expected her to introduce, that had not been on the list. "Why?"

Elizabeth explained her encounter with one of the lords while she was in Atlantis and what he had said to her. Jack couldn't help but feel skeptical. "Matthew of Glaston has a tendency to run his mouth too much," he began.

She shook her head and cut him off, rising from her chair and moving toward the single window. "Nevertheless, he made a valid point," Elizabeth maintained firmly. "I cannot simply rule through myself and rely solely on my closest associates. I must show more faith in my people than that."

"Majesty, you do not know the lords –"

"Because I was kept under veritable house arrest for the past ten years in order to preserve my life from a few undesirable elements of our society," Elizabeth interrupted, turning back to face him. "That is no longer the case. I cannot rule effectively without the support of the lords. They swore loyalty to me on the day of my coronation, but that oath goes both ways. I am bound to serve them just as they are bound to serve me."

Jack pursed his lips, thinking that Kinsey too had made that oath and had trampled upon it. "Have you talked to George or Daniel about this?" he inquired.

She shook her head. "This situation did not come up until after I left Langford," Elizabeth said. "I was kept so busy in Atlantis that I didn't have time to discuss this at length with Lord George and I have yet to send any word of this to Daniel." She smiled at him weakly. "I wished to hear your reaction first."

"Was it what you expected?"

She shrugged. "For the most part. But this is something that must be done, Jack. In the years to come I will have far more important things to do than fight a constant uphill battle in gaining the trust of the college every time I put forth a plan for their approval. I need to be able to count on their support, and I cannot have that unless they know and trust me."

Jack nodded, though he was still not entirely sure why Elizabeth had come to him first with this idea. Of all the men that surrounded her during her childhood, quite possibly the only one with even less liking for politics than him had been Marshall Sumner.

"You should start talking to Daniel and George about this," he advised. "Perhaps even talk to Jacob as well. He has no seat in the college, but he has the respect of many who do. He has avenues open to him that the rest of us do not." Jack sighed. "I think we've sprung enough on each other for the moment. Why don't I show you to your rooms so you can prepare for supper?" He couldn't help but grin. "We're having cake for dessert."

The tension between them eased somewhat and Elizabeth's smile became genuine. "Is that a common occurrence here in Neill?"

* * *

  
Elizabeth stayed rather quiet during supper while her mind lingered on her conversation with Jack. There was a great deal she wanted to do with her reign, and it felt like nothing was going quickly or smoothly enough to suit her. She remembered her last conversation with Sir Jacob, when he'd left for the Tok'ra territories once again. Her father had been an impatient man, Jacob had told her. The idea made her feel somewhat closer to her long-dead father, but didn't particularly help her when she found herself forced to wait.

After the meal Elizabeth and Kate went to their chambers to begin unpacking, letting the contents of their trunks air out. "I must say," Kate mused, "that I will be very glad when you have had your fill of traveling."

Elizabeth smiled at her. "And why is that?"

"I want to be finished with packing and unpacking." Kate held up a corset. "Is this yours or mine?"

Elizabeth looked up from the trunk she was working on. "Mine, I think."

Kate frowned and brought it over to a stack of Elizabeth's undergarments. "I am sorry, then. I had this with me in Heightmeyer. Heaven knows when it got into my trunks."

There was a knock on the door, and since Kate was leaning over into her trunk to retrieve something, Elizabeth called, "Come in!"

In came Marcus, whose eyes lingered on Kate's form for a moment before settling on Elizabeth. "Majesty, Lord Jonathan wishes to know if you and Lady Katherine will join him for a tour of the fortress," he said, a little coldly.

Elizabeth glanced at Kate, who had straightened up and developed a keen interest in a pair of stockings. Repressing an exasperated sigh, Elizabeth turned back to her guard. "Yes, tell him we shall be with him directly," she said.

Marcus nodded. "If you do not have business for me, I would like to review the guards' duties with the commander of the watchtower."

Elizabeth nodded to him. "I have nothing more in the way of business for you tonight."

He bowed to her and left swiftly. Elizabeth lowered the lid on a now-empty trunk. "Kate," she began.

"Yes, he asked me to marry him," Kate said, anticipating the question.

This time Elizabeth did sigh. "I take it you refused him."

"We never got that far," Kate replied, busying herself immediately in the inner recesses of her trunk.

Elizabeth recognized her friend's mood immediately and knew she wasn't going to be able to budge Kate from this fit of sullenness. Laura might, but Elizabeth didn't even want to attempt it now, though she was curious to know how Marcus' proposal could have gone so badly. Instead, she walked over and laid her hand on Kate's shoulder. "We should not keep Jack waiting."

Jack was indeed waiting for them in the corridor, as was his son, to Elizabeth's slight surprise. "I trust you've unpacked?" Jack asked when they came out of their chambers.

"For the most part," Elizabeth replied. "I think we were ready for a break."

Jack gestured toward the open corridor. "Then allow me to show you around."

The fortress was stark and bare in comparison to most of the places Elizabeth had ever been to, which did not surprise her. After all, it had first been a watchtower, not a home. Even then Elizabeth found it strangely cozy, perhaps because of the obvious signs of age and ownership. It had been built over time, and one corridor did not necessarily match the one it intersected. In Atlantis, every generation had taken care to make new parts of the palace harmonize with the old parts, so that without careful study it would be difficult to tell where one section ended and another began. Neill was more of a hodgepodge, but Elizabeth thought it rather endearing.

Jack was in the middle of a rambling history of one of his ancestors having gotten lost in a foggy night and come down the wrong side of the mountain, ending up in a heated argument with some Caldoran shepherds, when a young officer approached them, bowing deeply. "My apologies, your Majesty," the man said. "My lord, the commander of the watch asks for a moment of your time."

Jack glanced at Elizabeth, who nodded. Then he turned to his son. "Charles, could you continue the queen and Lady Kate's tour?"

"Of course, Father," Charles replied.

The officer directed Jack away then, and Charles looked at the two ladies a little awkwardly. He cleared his throat and avoided meeting Elizabeth's gaze. "If I may direct your attention to these tapestries?" he said.

The rest of their tour lacked the color of Jack's meandering narratives, though they did perhaps learn more about the actual fortress from Charles than from Jack. The young heir of Neill was quite knowledgeable about his home and the surrounding area. He was polite without pandering, attentive without obsequiousness, but also distant and formal. Elizabeth found herself wishing she'd known him when he was younger, before he'd become a rather serious man.

Jack had not yet returned from the business which had called him away before they had finished a cursory circuit of the fortress, so Charles escorted them back to their chambers. Once alone, Elizabeth and Kate went back to unpacking the last two trunks. "Do you know what I want to do tomorrow?" Elizabeth asked.

"Hmm?" Kate responded.

"Sleep until noon."

Kate smiled broadly. "Perhaps that could be arranged."

Seeing Kate smile again reminded Elizabeth of how ill-tempered her friend had been during the journey to Neill. Quite simply, she hated the whole situation but was reluctant to interfere. The best thing she could think of was to try to lift Kate's spirits, so that when she and Marcus had to confront each other again – and Elizabeth did not doubt that they would, for neither of them would be so cross if their feelings had not run so deep – she might be better able to talk with him rationally.

Elizabeth moved to sit on the bed, fingering the torn hem of a chemise and wondering if the worn garment was worth the repair. "I have to say, Jack's son is not quite what I imagined," she mused.

"Nor I," said Kate, pulling one of Elizabeth's gowns from a trunk. "Though I suppose it was unfair to expect an exact replica of Jack. Charles would have spent more time with his mother than with his father over the years."

Elizabeth nodded. "He's so aloof," she said. "I certainly wasn't expecting that."

Kate closed the lid on the trunk and came to sit next to Elizabeth. "He might be somewhat intimidated by the queen," she replied. "He would not be the first."

Elizabeth smiled. "I know." It did bother her greatly, though. Jack was so dear to her, and she had long thought of Charles as a distant cousin, almost. At the very least, she had expected to find in him a friend like his father. His formal behavior toward her was both startling and disappointing. "I wish I had met him when we were all younger. It might have been nice to know a boy our age."

Kate laughed a little. "I suspect you would have had a crush on him instead of his father, then."

Sitting up straight, Elizabeth affected a haughty look. "And who is to say I don't prefer older men on principle?"

"I concede the point," Kate said, rolling her eyes.

* * *

  
Having heard reports of Elizabeth's last few months, Jack was determined to make her stay in Neill as relaxed as possible. He had no doubt that some sort of drama would present itself – in fact, given Laura's sudden sickness and Kate's sullen silence, he was certain that was already unfolding – but he would do his best not to compound the issue.

The girls all retired early, so Jack was alone when a messenger arrived. He had been expecting news from George or Daniel, but he was in no way disappointed when the letter turned out to be from a very different person.

He and Sarah Gardner had been writing each other almost since they had both departed from Atlantis. Her letters swiftly became a source of distraction from the reports he received almost daily concerning the state of the country's defenses. He had many concerns with the country's defenses now, not the least of which was the unprovoked aggression by the Goa'uld against Caldora, and he worried that Elizabeth was too singularly focused on the navy and the Wraith. Sarah let him think about other things. Her letters were often long and precise, not dwelling on the ten years she'd lost to Osiris but realistic about the challenges she now faced, ruling a province and holding her place in an often hostile court.

Jack still missed his late wife, even after the passage of so many years. The mother of his heir would always have a special place in his heart. He had not expected to find anything even remotely like the love of his youth, but this second Sarah was beginning to fill a void that had been in him so long he'd almost forgotten that there was any other state.

At a knock on the door, Jack set Sarah's letter aside and went to answer the door. To his surprise, his son was on the other side. "Father," Charles said.

Jack held the door open further and let him in. "Charles," he prompted.

The young man cleared his throat slightly. "I wanted to know why you did not allow me to deal with the watch commander," he said. "You know I oversee the keep more than you do."

"Yes, and I deal with the queen more than you do," Jack replied. "I thought you could use the practice."

"I have no interest in dealing with the queen, Father," Charles said coolly. "I have no desire to curry favor with her, or to flirt with young ladies while their fathers try to maneuver them to my side before an altar."

Jack snorted. "Is that what you think court is like, Charles? I tell you, it is half politics, half war zone. Romantic intrigues are less often inspired by love than by ambition."

Charles glanced pointedly at the letter on Jack's desk. At some point rumors about Sarah Gardner had reached his son, rumors that he would soon have a stepmother less than a decade older than him. The rumors were untrue, of course, but Jack could understand why his son would be upset by them. Still, he wished that Charles would speak to him on the subject instead of making these sorts of silent accusations.

"You will be marquis in about a hundred years when I am dead," Jack told his son. "You may as well get used to the idea of spending some of your time at court."

Charles made no reply, only shrugged indifferently. Jack repressed a sigh. "I would ask one thing of you, however."

"What?" Charles asked.

"That you be friendly with Elizabeth," Jack said. He and his son did not have the warmest of relationships, but he knew Charles could be as charming and engaging as his mother had been. "She's had little contact with people her own age. I think you would both benefit from the companionship."

"Father," the boy began to protest.

"Charles," Jack reproved. "She is our guest. Stop acting as though her presence here is some great hardship for you."

Charles opened his mouth as though to say something, but thought better of it. "I interrupted you," he said instead. "Good night, Father."

Jack waited a moment before replying. "Good night, son."

After staring at each other a little longer, Charles nodded and left. Jack returned to Sarah's letter, utterly unconvinced that anything he'd said had sunk in.  



	2. Chapter 2

Jack's estate in the mountains held one tremendous advantage over the other parts of Atalan Laura had seen in her life. They were so far away from everything here. For the first time since they had left Atlantis months ago, Laura felt as though they were finally enjoying a little holiday. There was a city further down the mountain, but unlike Langford, there were no noblemen so close as to invade upon the queen's arrival. Elizabeth slept for three hours after the sun rose their first morning there, something which Jack teased her about, but none of them would have changed it, not after seeing how rested and relaxed she looked.

As for herself, Laura felt better the next morning as well, though as the day passed with idle conversations and lazy walks through the fortress, the dizziness would occasionally return. It was not until late afternoon, however, that she felt so unbalanced that the others noticed. "Laura," Kate said as they were all preparing for supper, "are you all right?"

She tried to wave them off, but Elizabeth frowned. "Kate, find Carson. I'm taking her to bed."

This time, though, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen, and she did not protest.

Though Elizabeth wanted her to lie down, Laura slipped over to the screened alcove of the bedchamber she and Carson were occupying. The pain worsened, and Elizabeth kept calling to her nervously. When she emerged again, clammy and shaking slightly, Elizabeth took her arm and guided her toward the bed. "You look as though you've seen a ghost, Laura," she said worriedly.

A suspicion was forming in Laura's mind, but she did not wish to voice it to Elizabeth. "I've been ill before, Elizabeth."

"Not like this."

Before Laura could respond, Carson arrived with Kate. Elizabeth stood out of the way and let Carson sit on the bed next to Laura. "Laura, love, I thought you were feeling better today," he said, caressing her cheek lightly.

With another worried glance in Laura's direction, Elizabeth slipped out of the room, Kate at her elbow. Once the door was closed behind them, Laura bit her lip. "I had a heavy flow of blood just now, Carson," she told him quietly.

He frowned, but some of his concern seemed to drain away. "I'm no expert in these matters," he replied, "but is it not normal for it to be worse at whiles?"

Laura reached for his hand. "It is not the right time of month," she said. "And last month my courses never came at all."

Absently Carson squeezed her fingers, an expression of quiet surprise on his face. "Laura, are you," he began. "That is, are you trying to say–"

"Carson, I think I was with child," she interrupted.

He stared at her. "Was," he repeated.

Her throat constricted, so she could only nod.

For several long minutes they just sat there in silence. Laura spent most of the time staring at Carson's hand, at the rough knuckles and fingertips that always seemed so soft when he touched her. Her lower back ached, and she shifted in the bed trying to get comfortable. Carson reached out and ran his hand over her tense muscles, something he had done many times before.

His voice was low when he spoke again. "Did you have any apprehension that you might be pregnant? You said you missed your flow last month..."

Laura bit her lip again. "I wondered," she said haltingly, "but it was not the first time that had happened."

"I suppose it was not the mountain making you ill, then," Carson replied, awkwardly.

Laura blushed. "I suppose it was not. Or at least it was not that alone."

Another pause ensued, while Carson soothed her back and Laura attempted to sort through the emotions welling within her. Now that the initial surprise had worn off, there was a quiet ache in her husband's eyes that Laura wished to avoid. She exerted herself to try to look better than she felt.

"Carson, go dine with the queen. Assure her that I will be all right soon. And please, do not tell her of this yet. I want a little time before anyone else knows."

Carson looked reluctant, but he nodded. "This news is yours to tell," he told her.

He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, and Laura could feel how his lips trembled. When he stood, he added, "I will have supper sent up for you. I'll be back as soon as I can."

She squeezed his hand one last time before he left. When he was gone, Laura sniffled a few times, wondering what she was supposed to feel about this. It had only been a few months since they were married, and they had not thought to have children so soon, though there was not much in the way of planning that they could do.

She remembered as a young girl thinking how terrible it must have been for Elizabeth's mother to have lost so many children, either before or after birth. But while she felt a strange hollowness now, it was not sorrow, exactly. How was she to mourn the loss of something she didn't know existed until after it was gone?

A servant brought supper, but she had no appetite. When Carson returned he said nothing to her about the food left on the tray. He merely stretched out behind her on the bed. They lay side by side for some while, before he gently shifted closer. His arm wrapped around her stomach and Laura allowed herself to cuddle against his body. Her husband held her for a long time before she was able to sleep.

*~*~*~*

The next day, Carson informed Elizabeth that Laura was still unwell, though he felt she was past the worst of the illness. Knowing how unusual it was for Laura to concede to a day in bed, Elizabeth immediately agreed with her doctor that the priority for Laura now was to take care of herself. When Carson wasn't looking at her, Elizabeth could detect a strange, almost haunted look in his eyes, but she could not bring herself to ask further questions of him just then. Besides, Elizabeth was certain if Laura was in any danger, Carson would tell her so.

The rest of the party descended the mountain into the city for most of the day. Jack, being Jack, had arranged no great processions or parades for her amusement, and seemed to have conjured the plan at breakfast. Charles had frowned when it was brought up, but said nothing. Lorne was also rather cross about the idea of Elizabeth doing anything so unplanned, but then, Lorne was rather cross about everything at present.

So into Kingstown they went, leaving their horses at the stable Jack always used when he came into the city. He took Elizabeth's arm and they ambled down the streets and through markets. There was, of course, a great deal of respect directed toward the marquis, but few people actually recognized Elizabeth immediately. She remembered that terrible night and day she spent in Athos three years earlier, when she knew not how many had died defending her and no one in the village knew how important it was that she survive. At the time she had felt guilty about it, but the anonymity was liberating. It was all the sweeter now.

After going back up the mountain, the winds died down, the sun came out, and Jack insisted on dinner being served at a great long table on a verandah. From there they could see down to the city and for miles and miles beyond. The four of them probably looked odd at the enormous table, but as they ate cold meats and drank water from a mountain spring, Elizabeth was fairly content.

"Could you not compel Carson to dine with us?" Jack asked her while food was being passed around the table.

She shook her head and passed a platter of chicken to Kate. "Not while Laura keeps to her room another day," she replied. Carson had seemed calmer when she spoke to him this evening, and her vague fears over Laura were soothed. "Tomorrow we should see them both."

"Father," said Charles, who was seated across from Elizabeth, "is Lady Laura prone to illness?"

Jack glanced at Elizabeth before answering. "Not since I met her," he told his son, "and that was when she was seven years old."

"None of us have been very sickly," Elizabeth added. "Though, that may have been from lack of exposure. I understand there are several ailments common to most children which we never contracted."

"You and Laura did not," Kate said. Elizabeth was a bit startled, as Kate had spoken so little in recent days. Of course, Marcus was elsewhere at the moment. "Before I was brought to Atlantis there were a few illnesses I contracted, like measles."

Charles looked at Kate and smiled lightly. "Father was never sick with measles either."

Kate smiled coyly at Charles. "Perhaps he is lucky, then."

Elizabeth watched this exchange with some concern. Kate was obviously angry with Captain Lorne at the moment, which was not new. In Iolan they had fought, and from what Elizabeth had gathered from Laura, it had had something to do with Kate flirting with a young Iolanian nobleman. Kate's demeanor regarding Marcus proposing suggested that perhaps this argument had not been resolved between them yet. But if that was the source of the tension between the two of them, would Kate try to goad Marcus into a fury by flirting with Jack's son?

Jack noticed the exchange as well, and frowned at them both. "Charles, why don't you tell the queen about your last exploit up into the mountains?" he said.

Charles cast only a fleeting glance at Elizabeth, his smile abruptly gone, before looking back at his food like it was a far more welcome sight. "Why don't you tell it, Father?" he asked. "Your version of events is more entertaining than mine."

After a moment's pause, Jack proceeded to tell the tale, but Elizabeth was only half listening. Instead, she watched Charles, wondering why he would not speak to her. In spite of Kate's earlier suggestion, Elizabeth did not think the young man felt intimidated.

Then he looked straight at her, and Elizabeth almost gasped. As it was, she barely kept her expression neutral as she saw the contempt in his eyes.

He didn't like her. Really didn't like her.

Quickly she smiled politely at something Jack said and looked down at her own food. What in the world had she done to make Charles dislike her so? Surely no one had been giving him unflattering reports of her. And Jack was hardly the type of man to curry favor with the monarch and malign her to others. Besides, he was at home with his son far less than he was in Atlantis.

Suddenly, Elizabeth had an idea of what might have bred such resentment.

*~*~*~*

The day had been a quiet one for Carson. In the late morning and early afternoon, Laura had emphatically told him that he was not to spend the entire day hovering over her, so he made the promised visit to the castle's physician. It had been invigorating to speak to a fellow healer, especially one who had learned his craft in a very different manner than Carson had. They spent much of the visit trading stories and comparing remedies for common ailments. Carson enjoyed the conversation after a fashion. At least it kept his mind off of the events of the previous day.

When he returned to his chambers, he found Laura fast asleep. Determined not to wake her, Carson settled himself down to read one of the texts he had brought with him from Atlantis. He stayed there until a servant came bearing a tray for the evening meal, the smell of which woke Laura. She even managed to eat some of what was brought, though not as much as Carson would like under different circumstances. They spoke to one another, but deftly avoided the subject they both knew was just below the surface.

After supper, Carson found Kate on their doorstep asking if she could visit Laura. He had hesitated briefly, not sure if he or Laura wanted to speak to anyone at the moment, but he was overruled when his wife called out from their bed, telling Kate to come in.

The visit did not last long, something that relieved Carson. He could see that she was still tired, and from the way Kate closely scrutinized Laura, Carson knew she could see it as well.

After visiting for about a half-hour, Kate rose to leave. "Jack has something planned for Elizabeth to see late tonight," she commented. "I'd best get back and see that she's dressed warmly."

Carson nodded. "Indeed," he commented as he stood up to walk her out. "The last thing her Majesty needs is to make herself ill."

"She brought both her blue and green cloaks, Kate," Laura added, leaning back against the pillows. "The green one was packed as a precaution. We weren't sure how different the climate would be here," she said.

Kate nodded. She leaned down and pressed a kiss on Laura's cheek before turning to go. Carson followed her out of the bedchamber.

"She looks so pale, Carson," Kate said, her voice low. "Are you sure…?"

"Yes," he replied. "She's past the worst of it. It might take her another day or so to recover, but Laura will be back on her feet and running the rest of us ragged soon enough." Carson wasn't sure how he managed to sound so reassuring, but his performance was good enough that Kate smiled at him, clearly comforted.

He opened the door for her, only to startle when he found Marcus standing in the doorway, his hand raised to knock. The captain blinked in surprise. "Doctor, sorry to disturb you. I thought I'd come see–"

Marcus abruptly cut himself off when he spotted Kate standing at Carson's shoulder. The man's smile vanished and his expression became tight and closed. "Forgive me," he continued. "I am interrupting. I merely wished to inquire after Laura's health."

Carson opened his mouth to reply, only Kate beat him to it. "Do not rush off on my account, Captain," she said frostily. "I am just taking my leave." She turned to him. "Good night, Carson. Sleep well."

Carson watched her slip past him, noticing that Marcus quickly stepped back to allow her plenty of room to depart. He also saw that the captain did not reach out to squeeze her hand as he had seen him do once or twice in the past. Looking at the other man's face, he sighed inwardly and wondered if either of them had any idea how difficult this harsh coldness between them was making things for everyone else.

*~*~*~*

Elizabeth's mind was half on Kate and Marcus and half on Charles as Jack led her somewhere that evening. At supper, Charles had almost completely ignored her again and been cold when he hadn't. And after the meal, she had suggested Kate visit Laura, only to have the lady return in such a foul mood that Elizabeth could only assume she had run into Captain Lorne. Elizabeth didn't particularly feel suited to mediating a lovers' quarrel, but she knew Kate's temper and Lorne's. Without a third party there she feared it might get out of hand and the two might never speak to each other again.

It was strange that two such quiet, capable people could be so unreasonable when it came to each other.

The question of her friend's son was yet another matter she was not certain how to even begin to address.

They were approaching the end of a corridor before Elizabeth realized how much her mind had been wandering. "Jack," she said, "where are we going?"

"Someplace private," he replied, opening a door and holding it for her. "Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes but entered anyway. The space was dark, but she realized soon enough that this was the entrance to a tower, and she started up the stairs. They did not talk until they'd reached the very top, largely because neither of them had the breath remaining to speak after the climb. Elizabeth opened the door there and found herself confronted by an empty room that was more window than wall.

"This fortress was once used as a watchtower," Jack reminded her. "Before your great-grandfather built the towers in the passes."

Elizabeth could see why this place had once been used. They were in the highest point of the fortress, and the windows in the small room framed views of the nearest and more distant peaks and all the lands beyond them. To the north she could see the foothills stretching towards the flat plains in the middle of Atalan. To either side of her were the jagged rocks of the mighty mountains. And to the south... if an army approached Atalan from the south, from here it would have been seen long before breaching the Talas range.

Elizabeth swallowed hard, remembering that Atalan _had_ been invaded from the south once. That war had eventually cost her father his life. She looked at Jack, who was watching her curiously. "You saw the Ori from here, didn't you?" she asked.

Jack looked away for a moment, clearly surprised by her question. "I left within the hour and rode as hard as I could. I crossed the country faster than I ever have before or since," he told her. "I got to Atlantis faster than even the messengers from the watchtowers."

She smiled sadly. "You have always been an excellent rider."

"That day has haunted me," Jack said quietly. At Elizabeth's questioning look, he added, "I told Sarah to take Charles and get north and east as fast as she could. I believe she got as far as Langford, and there they were safe. But I still wonder sometimes if I should not have stayed with them. Charles was not yet three, and Sarah was younger than you are now. If anything had happened..."

Jack trailed off, staring out the window at the mountains. Elizabeth laid her hand on the window sill. "That has been the theme of your service," she said. "Duty to family or duty to country?"

He shook his head, though not in disagreement. "You ought to be too young to understand such things so quickly."

"I have recently had reason to grasp this," Elizabeth told him, smiling faintly. "Your son does not like me. I am not sure I blame him."

"Elizabeth," Jack replied, a chiding tone in his voice that she had not heard in years. "That's not fair to yourself."

She shook her head. "Jack, since my father's death you spent more time in Atlantis or elsewhere in the country than you did here in Neill," she said. "You chose duty to your country because it also served your family, even in your absence. But when the country was in such upheaval Charles was not old enough to understand that. In his eyes you were choosing me over him."

"He is old enough to know better now."

"None of us are rational all the time, Jack."

Jack looked up at the sky and sighed. "Well, I did not bring you here to discuss Charles," he said.

Elizabeth looked up too. There should have been a full moon, but though there were few clouds, the night was unnaturally dark. "You never told me why you brought me up here."

"As you may have guessed," he replied, "the Asgard stopped here before crossing the mountains and joining the Caldoran army. Thor told me to watch the moon on this night. I think what he meant me to see is about to happen."

Jack pointed upward, and Elizabeth looked. What she saw nearly made her heart stop. A shadow was encroaching upon the moon. What was left of it was red like blood. "What's going on?" she asked breathlessly.

"Thor called it an eclipse," Jack said. "He has theories about the earth and the moon and the sun, and which one revolves around which."

By that point, the shadow over the moon seemed to flee, but instead of returning to its usual state, the redness spread to where the shadow had been. Minutes passed, and the moon grew fully red. Elizabeth had never seen anything like it.

Then, as strangely as it had come, it began to recede. The shadow returned but drove the terrible color of blood away. Eventually, as the moon continued its circuit in the sky, it went back to normal, full and luminous. Elizabeth knew not how long she and Jack stood there in silence, watching the night sky. Though Thor had instructed her not to read signs and portents into the stars, she wondered what this meant.

She glanced at the downward slope of the mountains, trailing off to the hills in the south.

Elizabeth hesitated a moment. "Do you think they saw this in Caldora?" she asked.

"Yes," Jack said. "He saw it."

Unexpectedly she blushed. "Jack..."

He smiled a little, and she took it as an apology of sorts. Formally he offered her his arm. "Shall we venture downward, my lady?" he asked. "It's probably time for both of us to retire for the evening."

Grateful that he, unlike so many others close to her, would hold his tongue, Elizabeth followed him away.

*~*~*~*

Laura resumed her duties two days after what she and Carson believed had been a miscarriage. Though she knew Carson would probably be more comfortable with her keeping to her room a few more days, Laura needed to be doing something in order to keep her mind off of what had happened.

The guards outside Elizabeth's rooms nodded to her as she approached, and she let herself in. Kate was the only one in the sitting room, and she looked up to see Laura entering. "Laura," she said, surprised. "I wasn't expecting to see you up today."

"I'm much better today, Kate," Laura replied. "Where is Elizabeth?"

Kate nodded toward the door to the bedroom. "She's writing a letter to Lord George," she said. "She thought she might finish it faster alone."

Laura smiled. "So you're guarding the gate."

"Something like that," Kate replied, smiling a little in return.

It was the closest to joyful Laura had seen her in weeks, and Laura decided to take this opportunity while she could. "Kate, may I ask you something?"

"Of course," Kate said, though her eyes betrayed her wariness.

Laura took a seat next to Kate at the small table in the middle of the room. "What happened with you and Marcus?" she asked.

Kate shot out of her chair and turned away, folding her arms tightly across her middle. "Laura," she began.

"No," Laura interrupted, forestalling the objection that was coming. "We've been friends for most of our lives, Kate. Perhaps I do not have a right to know, but surely you trust me enough by now to tell me."

Something she said made Kate stiffen, but then she turned back and almost flopped into her chair again. "Trust," she repeated. "Yes, that is what happened with us."

A little alarmed, Laura reached for Kate's hand. "Kate, surely he did not try to – that is, did he attempt to push you to –"

"No, of course not," she said. Then she added almost snidely, "He's too afraid of Jack to do such a thing."

Laura sat back. "I don't understand."

Kate's expression was blank. "He told me that once. He told me he was afraid of what Jack would do to him if he seduced me and it was discovered."

"But what does that have to do with what's happened now?"

Kate rose again, this time pacing slowly. "Laura, do you know what attracted me to him in the first place?" Met with Laura's silence, she continued, "He seemed so different from the men trying to court me. I'm certain some of them were as kind or as intelligent as he, but their goal was not love or even friendship or respect. It was an achievement to marry the daughter of Lord David, Earl of Heightmeyer." Her voice dropped, full of bitterness. "I was no better than a tract of fertile land to be staked."

Laura frowned deeply. Though she too was a nobleman's daughter, her situation was obviously quite different from Kate's. Her father was comparatively less important and spent far less time in Atlantis than Kate's father did. On top of that, Kate's family boasted a connection to the queen that went beyond Kate's position. Though Kate was far more distantly related to Elizabeth than even Prince Radek was, Lord David was considered by some to be in the line of succession should Elizabeth die childless. There was much dispute on that topic, of course, but the blood connection, no matter how weak, gave the family a great deal of prominence. Kate's service to the queen made her even more desirable as a wife.

"But Marcus sees you as more than that," Laura pressed.

Kate made an indignant huffing noise. "I am not so sure of that," she said. "You know how boorishly he behaved in Iolan. So controlling and possessive."

"Kate, you were flirting with another man!" Laura said, exasperated. "Yes, he should have been more understanding of what your duties entail, but how did you expect him to react? He has never been confident of his status compared to you. You have told me so yourself." She paused, eyes narrowing. "You still haven't resolved that argument, have you?"

"No," Kate scowled. "He wants to put it behind us with the assurance that I will not act in such a way after we are married."

Laura shook her head. "That will not do," she replied. "The worst thing you could do is to pretend it never happened."

"That is precisely my point!" Kate said in relief. "When I said to him that we needed to resolve this, that I needed to know if he believed in me, he wished to sweep it under the rug. As though our being married would erase the fact that he did not trust me."

"Yes," Laura said, hoping to parley her agreement with Kate into a concession. "Nor would his recognizing that he should have had more faith in you change that your behavior hurt him as well." Kate bristled at that but Laura held her ground. "It takes more than one person to start a fight, Kate."

"Laura, I know you are married now, but I do not know that you are qualified to give advice in a question like this –"

Laura stood up abruptly and looked Kate in the eye. "Yes, I am," she countered. "Carson and I nearly broke off our engagement because neither of us would admit that the other person had a valid point and so we fought until we nearly dissolved our plans."

That seemed to shake Kate from her inward focus, and she frowned. "Over what?"

"It hardly matters," Laura replied, shaking her head. "The point is that we let something get out of hand because neither of us wanted to budge. But in the end, we weren't willing to let go of each other just to preserve our pride."

Kate winced, and Laura stepped forward, laying her hand on her friend's arm. "I do not mean to make you uncomfortable, Kate, but you know how stubborn you can be," she continued softly. "I would hate to see you lose Marcus because of it. He is a good man, and that is what matters most."

"He is not precisely the model of compliance either," Kate said a trifle sullenly.

Laura grinned. "Of that I am well aware."

Kate sighed, pressing her fingers to her temple. "I just need some time to let my temper cool, as well as his," she replied. "As it is, I had resolved not to marry until after Elizabeth is wedded, so perhaps this is less pressing than any of us thinks."

Laura's jaw dropped. "You resolved not to marry until Elizabeth is married?" she repeated, stunned. She could not believe the words Kate had just uttered so casually. "When did you decide that?"

"The night of your wedding, Laura," Kate replied, looking at her. "I told you what happened that night. She needs someone she can trust with her, and until she has a husband, that falls to me."

Laura let go of Kate. "You've not told Marcus this, in all these months?"

"The subject had not come up before he came to –"

"Kate!" Laura cried. "He is the man you want to marry! Whatever he has said or not said, I know that that is true. Does he not have a right to know that you have decided to wait, perhaps for years, before marrying?"

Kate drew herself up in a way that made Laura's heart sink. "If I had had any clear indication of his intentions, I would have discussed it with him," she said coldly.

Laura could hardly believe her ears. Was Kate really suggesting that after months of receiving Marcus Lorne's attentions, clandestine though the courtship had necessarily been, she hadn't been sure Marcus intended to propose? She stared at her friend, her face grave. "I cannot believe you would be so capricious with the man whom you love so deeply."

"Laura!"

The discussion went no further, for Elizabeth emerged from the bedroom then. She cast a swift glance at Kate, and Laura thought she looked annoyed. "Laura," she said, turning her attention away from Kate, "I am glad to see that you are feeling better."

"I am, thank you, my lady."

Laura wondered how much of the argument Elizabeth had heard. She and Kate had hardly been discreet. But perhaps that was what Kate needed. Perhaps she needed to know that her closest friends thought she had done something wrong in order for her to look more objectively at her own actions. Kate was being unreasonable, although the captain probably was as well. Laura feared that if they were not able to bend a little, the situation between them might continue to deteriorate.

As they began the work of the day, Laura suppressed a sigh. She had been momentarily caught up in worry over Kate and Marcus, and it had pushed her own concerns aside for a while. Looking at her two companions, Laura decided that this was nowhere near the right time to tell Elizabeth or Kate about her illness and its cause. That news would have to keep for now.


	3. Precipice (3/3)

Carson leaned against the wall of the parapet and looked out over the torchlight in the city below. The fortress contained so many levels, clinging as it did to the mountainside, from every window seemed to be a grand view of the mountains and the foothills or Kingstown, or all of them.

The moon was rising in the east. A cool breeze chilled his skin but he didn't move. Laura would probably preparing for bed soon but he was reluctant join her yet. He did not know what to tell her. She needed to rest and let her body heal from what had happened, but it was not merely a matter of her physical illness this time.

There was no way to be sure that she had been pregnant. Carson hardly knew what to do or say, much less feel. He had dreamed of having children with Laura, of course. Had pictured himself resting a hand against her swollen belly, imagined seeing her holding their baby in her arms. They had not been taking any steps to prevent conceiving, but neither had they been deliberately attempting it either. They were still finding their footing with each other and their marriage. And they were both young and healthy.

He had not been thinking of this yet. And now, he thought he should be grieving, but there was only a small sense of loss. How could he grieve something he had not known was there? He was actually more worried about Laura, who had been quiet and withdrawn from everyone. He feared to push her just now, but her silence disturbed him.

Marcus Lorne came out onto the parapet, turning Carson's thoughts from his own troubles to someone else's.

Laura had confided to Carson before they left Atlantis that the captain intended to propose to Kate. It had made sense he would have done so when they could appeal to her father for his permission, but clearly something had gone amiss. While he was not much for gossip, Carson suspected that if Kate's family had objected, the two of them would not be so angry with each other as they were now, which suggested something else was wrong between them.

Marcus wandered slowly along the narrow balcony for a moment before coming to rest not far from Carson. He seemed to be casting wary glances out of the corner of his eye. "Doctor."

"Captain."

He and Marcus were not the closest of friends. Carson was not quite sure how to begin the conversation until Marcus spoke. "How is Laura feeling?"

"She is better today. She resumed some of her duties with the queen."

Marcus nodded. He knew that, of course, although he had been more removed from the queen's presence for the last few days than he had since the coronation. Carson turned to face him. "How is Kate?"

Marcus stiffened and glared. "You shall have to ask her yourself."

Carson rolled his eyes in exasperation. "What did you do?"

The other man turned on him, furious. "Why do you automatically blame me?"

"You proposed to her, didn't you?" he retorted. The look on Marcus' face answered that question. "Women generally do not reject the proposals of men they are in love with, unless the fool hopelessly bungles the proposal."

"I -" Marcus began and then stopped. He shrugged and leaned his elbows on the stone wall. His voice was bitter and almost sullen for a grown man. "The lady looked rather horrified at the prospect of being my wife. I imagine the differences in rank between us were brought home to her by spending time with her family and she realized she did not wish to lower herself for a man who can't offer her what she is used to having."

"Don't be daft," Carson snapped. "Kate doesn't give two pins about ranks and titles, and you know that."

"What ladies say and what they truly believe are very rarely one and the same," Marcus said with so much venom Carson blinked for a moment.

"Marcus, you have known her for nearly five years. You cannot honestly believe Kate would reject your suit for such a reason."

He shrugged, looking grim. "You did not see her fawning over the simpleton marquis in Iolan."

Carson blinked, shocked. "That's what this is about?" he asked incredulously. "You think she had any real affection for that idiot? He nearly got her killed!" It had been that man's information that sent Kate and Rodney's sister on their investigation into Simmons' quarters. The outcome had been important for the queen but Carson would never forget the fear on Kate's face or the marks on her neck after she was nearly strangled to death.

Marcus said nothing else, just stared out at the darkening landscape in stony silence. Carson thought for a moment. "Is that why you proposed?"

"What?"

"Did you ask Kate to marry you because you were jealous of Aaron of Kensmere?"

"No." Disbelief must have been evident on Carson's face, for Marcus shook his head vehemently. "No. I resolved to ask for Kate's hand at your wedding reception, Carson."

"Then why on earth did you wait until now?"

Marcus sighed. "The journey to Iolan was so hectic, and in the aftermath, the queen has had much to deal with. There did not seem to be an opportune moment, and then I believed it would be best if we could speak to her father and mother together."

Carson moved a little closer and mirrored his posture. "Marcus, I won't ask what precisely happened between you, but you must acknowledge that if I came to that conclusion about your motives, it is not unreasonable for Kate to do so as well."

"I do not know what her conclusions are any more," Marcus said angrily.

"Have you asked? Without becoming angry?" he added hastily.

"She has also known me for five years, Carson. She should know me better than that," he shot back. "I should not need to spell it out for her after all this time."

Carson groaned under his breath. He recognized much of himself in those words. His uncertainty on how to speak to his wife after what had happened had led to a silence that was doing them more harm than good, whether they admitted it or not. Hearing it from the mouth of the captain made it that much clearer. "So," he said slowly, "you will both proceed to expect something of each other that is completely impossible and allow it to destroy your love? You will lose her over this, Marcus." The captain winced. "If you do not attempt to talk with her openly, you will lose her. Is your pride more important to you than Kate is?"

He got no reply, but he did not really expect one. He left Marcus there staring up at the moon and made his way to his own rooms. Laura would return soon and Carson felt he should take his own advice and speak to his wife, rather than hoping silence would somehow mend things by invisible magic.

* * *

Jack had been occupied most of the day, though in the back of his mind he was turning over what Elizabeth had said regarding Charles the night before. However as the evening drew about the fortress he turned his attention to the queen's affairs and sought Elizabeth out in her rooms.

She settled herself at the table, inviting him to join her. Laura and Kate sat nearby. It was the first time Jack had seen Laura attending the queen since their arrival, and to his eye she still looked too pale and distant.

Elizabeth drew his attention back to herself. "What business do you have for me this evening?"

"I'm terribly sorry," he replied, "but all I have is a stack of diplomatic correspondence that will put us all to sleep."

Elizabeth feigned puzzlement. "Since when have I ever allowed you near matters of diplomacy?" she teased.

"It is a dark day indeed, my lady."

They were carefully picking their way through a reply to Doranda when Elizabeth sat back and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sometimes I hate having to be so precise and so vague at the same time," she said. "It seems a thousand times worse in writing."

Jack smiled sympathetically. "It's easier to communicate nuance and overcome confusion face to face."

Elizabeth rolled her shoulders and got back to work. "I wonder if that would hold true of King Henry," she remarked wryly.

He didn't think much of it at first, as she was already back to work, but as he observed her for the next little while he noticed a thoughtful look on her face. She got more and more detached from her task, and Jack wanted to groan. He knew what that meant. This was the birth of an idea.

Whatever she was contemplating, however, she didn't communicate to them, though Jack was sure it would come out eventually. Instead, when they had finished their work, she looked at him and said, "I believe I will extend my stay in Neill, Jack. I find the area most agreeable, and I feel this as good a time as any to begin acquainting myself with those nobles whom I do not yet know."

Jack thought of his conversation with his son on the evening of the queen's arrival and suppressed a smile. "I certainly have no objections to that, my lady."

She smiled at him brightly and then turned her attention to her two ladies. "Laura," she said, "I had always intended for you and Carson to be able to visit your family while we are in the south, much as I intended Kate to visit hers while we were near. You and Carson could go to Hardfort and see them while I curry favor with some of these lords and ladies, if you wish it."

Laura clearly did not expect that. "I..." she began. "I believe my husband and I would both prefer to visit my family."

Elizabeth smiled, almost gratefully. "I am glad," she said. "It is so far from here to Atlantis. I hate depriving them of you for so long."

"My parents will be very grateful, Elizabeth."

Though Laura was clearly doing better, Jack's concern for her flared up again as he watched her. When they had finished with the letters, Jack offered to escort Laura back to her bedchamber, and Laura accepted without hesitation.

They got some distance away from Elizabeth's guards before Jack spoke. "I am pleased to see you feeling better, Laura," he said lowly.

Laura looked a little startled, and she blushed. "Thank you, Jack."

Laura and Carson's bedchamber was around the corner, and they walked the rest of the distance in silence before Jack decided to ask her what had been at the back of his mind ever since her first dizzy spell on the mountain. "Laura," he began, gently taking her hand in both of his, "this sickness you have suffered since arriving here – it is not because of the mountains, is it?"

She bit her lip, looking little like her normal self, or even the pretty and rambunctious seven-year-old who had first come to court eleven years ago. "No, I..." She squeezed his fingers. "I think I was carrying a child, Jack, but... something went wrong."

Jack pulled one of his hands free to smooth back her hair. She looked miserable, and it hurt to see her thus. "I confess, I suspected as much," he told her gently.

Surprise seemed to mitigate her sadness. "You did?"

He nodded. "I was hard-pressed to believe that a mere mountain could douse your spirits, Laura."

She smiled and almost laughed, and some of the weight lifted off Jack as well. "Jack, I don't know what to do," she said after a moment. "Carson and I have only ever talked about having children in the most abstract way. I know it is the natural result of being married, but –"

Jack held up a hand to silence her. "Laura, do you remember my advice to you on your wedding day?"

Laura smiled sheepishly. "To talk to Carson when I am worried or distressed."

He nodded once. "I will not help you violate my own counsel," he said, making her smile broaden a little. "But when you have spoken to him, if you still wish to talk, I will listen."

Laura nodded, seeming too overcome to speak for a moment. Instead, she rose up on her toes and threw her arms around his shoulders. Jack wrapped his arms around her out of instinct, but there was genuine affection in the embrace too. Though he loved all three of the young women who had been so long in his care, sometimes Laura especially seemed like the daughter he'd never had.

"The queen does not know?" he asked, rather sure of the answer.

"No, I have not had the chance to speak to her yet. Or Kate." He nodded, saying nothing else. It was not his business to repeat such things, even to Elizabeth.

She pulled away after a few moments, and Jack kissed her forehead. "Remember what I said, Laura," he told her.

She nodded, opening the door and slipping into the room. "Thank you, Jack."

* * *

Elizabeth had truly intended to retire early after speaking with Jack. Staying awake to observe the eclipse the night before had left her rather exhausted. She had followed Jack and Laura as they had left the room, intending to ask Master Stackhouse that she not be disturbed for the rest of the evening. Kate was inside, finishing gathering up the correspondence, intending to put it with the rest of the papers in the desk.

When Elizabeth stepped out into the hallway, however, she spotted two unexpected opportunities. First, Marcus had reappeared from his off-duty time, most likely to set the guard shifts for the night as he always did. The second was Charles, in the shadow of one of the arches that were spread along the corridor. Elizabeth saw his intent expression, so similar to his father's, and glanced in the same direction. She saw only Jack leading Laura down the hallway.

She looked in Marcus' direction briefly. In that moment, she remembered Laura's frustrated suggestion from earlier that day, that they lock him and Kate in a room together until they sorted out their dispute.

Elizabeth blinked. It had been too ludicrous to contemplate, and she still didn't believe involving herself in Marcus and Kate's conflict was the best idea, but perhaps… She would have to act quickly.

"Captain," she said. "I am going for a walk. If you could let Kate know to not wait up for me?" Without giving him a chance to respond, Elizabeth turned to look at the man still standing in the shadows. "Lord Charles, would you care to join me?"

She watched as Jack's son blinked rapidly before looking at her. After a moment, he nodded. "As you wish, Majesty." He stepped out of the shadows and offered her his arm. Elizabeth took it and looked back to Marcus. He looked torn, even bewildered, as she began to walk away, Master Stackhouse and two other guards following her.

Elizabeth allowed Charles to take the lead and he eventually led her out into a small courtyard. The evening air was chilly, and she wished she had brought a shawl, but Elizabeth was not about to go back for one. Putting thoughts of Kate and Marcus out of her mind, she glanced at her companion. Charles appeared occupied, his thoughts far from the torch-lit courtyard.

"It is a shame you could not come to court when you were younger," she commented, breaking the silence. "My ladies and I would have welcomed your company."

Charles jerked slightly and stared at her. "Surely you did not lack for companionship, my lady," he replied after a moment. Elizabeth wondered if she was only imagining the faintest tinge of bitterness in his voice.

She shook her head. "Laura and Kate have been with me since before the deaths of my parents, but I spent most of the time since then surrounded by older men." Elizabeth smiled tentatively at him. "Though I dare say your father did his best to make up for it. He often behaves like a man half his age."

Charles only nodded, and Elizabeth saw his expression grow even more closed at the mention of Jack. She sighed inwardly. Perhaps bringing to light the fact that Jack had spent more time in Atlantis with her and her ladies than he had with his own son in his own province was not the wisest idea? Still, she pressed on.

"Lord Daniel is my closest kin. At times he is more brother than cousin, at others I think he fancies himself more a dictator than a confidant." Charles gave a polite smile at her joke. She continued, as if speaking casually. "Lord George has been the closest thing I have known to a father since I was eight years old. But his charge was to raise me, as Captain Sumner's was to protect and Daniel's was to teach. Of all of them, I must admit, your father has always held a special place to me. He has been a friend, even though so many hours of his time have been paid for by himself and his family. I know he has regretted being so much from home almost every day of the last ten years."

She looked towards the flowerbeds. Given the castle's location on the mountain, they were not as full and bright as the gardens of Langford or even those of Atlantis, but the flowers were still quite pretty in the moonlight.

"Jack was in Atlantis when my father died," Elizabeth said softly. "He was even at his deathbed, something my mother and I were denied due to illness and youth. Jack told me later that all those in that room promised to see me safely onto the throne. One those men even lost his life for it." She stopped when she noted that Charles had moved to her right, staring at the flowers. "All of them have paid a price, but I think Jack's pain is greater, for I believe he continues to pay dearly for his loyalty to my father and to me."

Charles shot her a swift, penetrating look at that.

Elizabeth feared to say any more, and the chill outside was growing stronger. She couldn't suppress a shiver.

Charles appeared to notice, despite his preoccupation. "May I offer you my cloak, Majesty?" he asked, with a tad more genuine concern in his voice, his hands already going up to the strings to untie it.

She shook her head. "Thank you, but I think it will save us both the freezing if we just go back inside. I don't think either of us wishes to become ill."

He nodded and held out his arm. They returned to the fortress and passed the corridor where Jack and Laura had disappeared. As they approached the hallway that led to her chambers, Elizabeth spoke lowly. "There is nothing I would not give to have just one more day with my father."

He did not respond to that and she began to bid him good night, until his hand on her arm stopped her. Some of the coldness had faded from his expression, but Elizabeth wasn't sure what effect her words were having. "Majesty," he said carefully, "what you are speaking of is no easy thing, for anyone involved."

"No, it is not," she acknowledged readily. "If it were easy it would not be worthwhile. But in the meantime, I would have you remember that your quarrel lies with someone else. I cannot resolve it for you."

For just a moment, surprise flickered across his face. Charles tamped it down quickly, and Elizabeth almost smiled. She nodded to him, silently bidding him good night before she walked away. The problem was hardly solved – she doubted Charles _liked_ her much better now than before – but at least she has spoken to him about it. She could hardly expect the situation to resolve itself if she held her tongue.

As she came to her chamber door, she could hear raised voices within. There was another situation which would not improve by silence. Hoping that their argument would get the worst over with between Kate and Marcus, Elizabeth walked to the end of the corridor with her two guards following, and stood at the window waiting.

* * *

Laura felt the mattress dip as Carson settled beside her. She had been waiting for him, thinking of her conversation with Jack. Her husband did not reach out, though, and hold her as he usually did. Instead he faced her. They stared at one another for a long moment.

"I do not know how to help you now, Laura," he confessed.

"Carson," she began, relieved that he had brought the subject up himself, and then sighed. "I hardly know how I am feeling myself, hour to hour." She bit her lip, her thoughts churning helplessly again. "It seems strange to grieve something we hardly knew existed," she said tentatively.

"I know." He brushed a stray hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I am sorry, but I feel guilty that I am not... bowed down by sadness."

She nodded, and knowing she was not alone in that feeling made her feel free to speak. "I'm frightened, Carson," she confessed in a whisper. "What if it will always be like this? What if I can't carry a child to term?"

His arms suddenly wrapped tightly around her. "Don't, love. Don't torture yourself with such thoughts."

Against his chest, she finally spoke the thing that had haunted her the most. "What if it was the journey–?"

She did not get to finish. Carson lifted her face. "We have no way of knowing what happened, Laura," he told her firmly, his doctor's manner in place. "You are young and healthy and many women who are not so perform extraordinary labor every day while with child. There is absolutely no reason for you to blame yourself for this."

He was saying nothing she did not already know, but his words seemed to finally loosen the hold of her guilt. She snuggled against him, feeling Carson drop a kiss against the top of her head.

"I want to have a baby. Perhaps not right away, but I do want to give you a child."

"I want that as well." Her husband turned them, so that she was lying on her back with him propped up next to her. "But you listen to me, Laura. I did not pledge myself as your husband only under certain conditions. If it is not meant to be, we will face that fact. But we'll do it together."

Laura heard the pain in his voice and shame washed over her. She had been trapped in her own feelings for some days now, and she had not turned to him or offered him comfort when she should have. Carson had been left alone with his own grief while she wallowed, and that had not been fair.

She didn't speak words of apology, but she pulled him down into a gentle kiss that she hoped said what she couldn't utter. Her hand stroked his cheek. "I love you," she told him quietly.

He kissed her again, murmuring words of love and tenderness against her lips. They curled up in the bed together, Laura tucked safely in his arms, and fell asleep.

* * *

Kate would not have said it aloud, but she was rather disappointed in Elizabeth's decision to remain in Neill for the time being. While she could understand her motives, Kate found herself longing fiercely for the familiar surroundings of Atlantis and the relative peace of the castle.

She was so very tired. The journey to Iolan had been stressful enough, and the time she had spent at home with her family had provided almost no relief. She was happy to see her mother and siblings again, but in many ways she felt herself a stranger at home. Her brother and sister had not seen her in ten years. While her mother wrote regularly, only her father was familiar to her. And he, to some extent, seemed to still see her as a little girl.

In addition to the loneliness, Kate had endured almost constant lectures from her mother for the entire length of her stay. Her younger sister had been married the previous fall. Kate had been busy with Elizabeth's coronation and unable to attend, and now her sister was with child. Lady Maria had been justifiably excited about the match and her first grandchild, but mixed with the happiness were various subtle reminders that Kate was two years older than her sister and still neither married nor even betrothed. Over and over Kate had been interrogated about the men in court, their suitability as potential husbands, whether any of them had particularly struck her own fancy, and so on until Kate felt only screaming as loudly and long as she could would relieve her feelings. That or blithely informing her mother of her intention not to marry until the queen did so, just to see the look of horror on her face.

And every comment of her mother's had made Kate's heart sink further. Her younger sister had married a viscount. What would her mother say if Kate announced her desire to marry the son of a commoner whose title had been a reward for service?

She would not have broken the news to her mother in such a fashion, of course, even if she and Marcus had been perfectly happy, which had not been the case. During her stay at home Kate had resolved that the two of them needed to have a long conversation about Marcus' accusations and his lack of faith in her, and she had been determined not to permit him to take any liberties with her until they had thrashed that issue out to her satisfaction. She had broken that vow almost immediately upon seeing him, and then out of nowhere he had blindsided her with his proposal. If one could call it that.

In fairness, she had not helped matters then. She had been full of righteous anger at Marcus but Laura's admonishment from earlier was making Kate consider that her own behavior in this matter had not been terribly mature or rational either.

Kate was preparing Elizabeth's things for bed when there was a knock on the door. Expecting a servant, she was shocked to see Marcus enter and close the door behind him.

Memories of their last moment alone together rose up, but instead of anger Kate felt a strong weariness. She was so tired of the tension between them; anything, she thought, might be preferable to continuing to bear this constant uneasiness and hostility.

Marcus seemed as uncomfortable as she felt and for a long minute they stared somewhat dumbly at one another in silence. Finally he shifted from one foot to another and spoke quietly. "There is something I should have told you, before I brought up the idea of marriage between us." At her curious look, he continued, "Do you remember what happened at Laura's wedding party?"

Several things crossed her mind at that moment, not the least of which being finding Elizabeth crying her heart out in the middle of the night, and the resolution which followed. But she suspected Marcus meant something else. "We danced together for the first time," she said in answer.

He nodded, moving a few steps closer. "I resolved on proposing to you at that moment, Kate. To be able to stand up with you before our friends, before everyone, and not have to hide my feelings... I knew it was what I wanted."

Even as her heart thawed over his confession, she felt the tiniest prick of irritation. He had not, after all, asked what precisely she wanted. Aloud, though, she said plaintively, "Then why did you not tell me sooner?"

He sighed. "I am not sure. Several times I nearly spoke to you about it, but the trip came up so swiftly, and everything became complicated so fast. The discovery of Simmons alone caused us all much grief." He left aside their own quarrel and faced her again. "And I did - I do understand, Kate, that the queen needed you. You must know that I have never questioned the duty you owe to her."

Kate sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her lap. She could not help the question, "Then why could you not tell me you trusted me with regard to Lord Aaron?"

He hesitated, and her heart sank. "I trusted your intentions, Kate. I know you were acting out of duty. But please, consider how it was for me to see the woman I hoped would agree to marry me flirting with another man right in front of me, and a man of rank and fortune at that!"

Uncomfortable as it was, Kate forced herself to think of it, to put herself in his place. And yes, she could admit that it would have been painful to witness, but the underlying issue remained. "You know I was not doing it to cause you pain, Marcus. But you cannot even now say that you trusted me fully, only my intentions."

"Your intentions were what mattered," he responded, growing irritated. "I believed your reasons for what you did were good, but I cannot help that I disagreed with your methods. And don't ask me to pretend I could countenance watching you with that man, Kate, and not be furious. He was pursuing you in earnest and you knew it. You cannot expect me to sit still and smile while another man has designs on what is _mine_."

He stalked the length of the room and so missed the kindling of fury in her face. At other times and in other situations he had intimated such feelings but he had never so baldly declared her to be little more than something he owned. Her mind flashed back to their argument in Iolan, to her feeling that he didn't trust her or respect her judgment enough in that matter, and now here seemed to be further proof. He was jealous not because he feared losing her love, but because she belonged to him and he felt she was behaving inappropriately.

She stood, her anger stiffening her spine. "You presume a great deal, sir, to speak of me so possessively. As you have pointed out before, there was never an official understanding between us."

He met her glare with one of his own. "I was only speaking the truth, my lady," he said with ice in his voice. "Do not play the coquette with me, Kate. I have had your heart since that day in Athos."

He was so sure of himself, and she knew perfectly well that he was right. It only incensed her further. "If you are so certain of that, then you have no good explanation for your jealousy," she shot back.

That seemed to surprise him and he looked away. With a visible slump of his shoulders, he admitted quietly, "I have perhaps too much experience with women speaking to one purpose and then acting on another." His words reminded her of the rumors in the court of his various conquests, which did nothing to soothe her current state of mind.

Marcus shook his head. "My fears got the better of me in Iolan."

It was as close as he had come to an apology since the day of the argument. She wondered for a moment if he would ever simply say the words aloud. But she knew enough to believe that he had been truly afraid. As brave as she knew him to be, she also knew he was terribly conscious of the great divide between an earl's daughter and a commoner's son.

He turned to her again and his voice and his expression very nearly chased her anger away. "I love you," he said quietly, reaching for her hand. "So much that I cannot be sensible or rational about it. I have known for months that I want to be your husband, if you would have me. I have not handled this as I should have and I know that things are not right between us yet. But please, Kate, tell me that I may still hope, that together we may come to an understanding. I do not want to lose you."

Too many emotions were running through her for Kate to be sure of them all. While her pride still churned in anger against him, her heart reminded her that she did love him, when all was said and done. Laura's warning about where this small fight could lead came back to her with his words, along with something else. "I do not want that either, Marcus," she said lowly.

Relief washed over him and he pressed her hand to his lips tightly for a moment. He moved as if to kiss her lips but Kate laid her other hand over his heart and held him back. "There is something I should have told you, something I also realized the night of Laura's wedding."

He looked at her expectantly and she couldn't bear the hopefulness in his face. She drew away. "You recall what passed between Elizabeth and Lord John before he left?"

"Yes," Marcus said, looking confused. "I told you what I witnessed in the stable that day."

"I never told you this, but that night, I woke to find Elizabeth crying. I had not seen her so stricken with grief since we were children." She folded her arms over herself. "You know the burden she bears every day, perhaps better than anyone but Laura or myself. And now, the man she loves is gone, in the middle of a war from which he will probably never return. With Lord John gone and Laura married, I am all she has left."

Kate saw the way suspicion began to color his expression as she finished, "I knew that night that I could not – I cannot abandon her."

"Kate," Marcus began slowly, worriedly. "What are you saying?"

She braced herself. "I cannot desert the queen. I cannot marry anyone until Elizabeth herself takes a husband."

The warmth that had been in his eyes faded completely, and his body went rigid and cold. "You are telling me that you are resolved not to marry – that you have been resolved on this for months without ever giving me any indication of it?"

Kate had been expecting surprise, but her temper slipped a little at his indignation. "You never gave me an indication of wanting to marry me either."

"Never gave you–" he sputtered, before his own temper snapped. "Kate, what in hell did you think I was doing all winter? Did you think I was merely courting you for sport?"

"No," she said automatically, but found she could not say anything further than that token protest, which sounded weak even to her own ears.

Marcus narrowed his eyes at her. "For that matter, what do you think I meant in Athos? Ancestors help me, I wanted to bed you that night, and I could have! If all I had wanted from you was a conquest, do you think I would have missed such an opportunity?" She turned away, feeling her cheeks flush with shame at the memory. It had been his restraint, not hers, that had safeguarded her virginity that night. In the months since, though they had flirted with the limits of both his and her own self-control, he had always pulled away before the line could be crossed.

He went on. "I knew if I had not stopped myself... It would have ruined your reputation for the rest of your life, and I would not have been able to live with that. I cared about you too much to do such a thing."

"I know," she said quietly. Whatever she had said to Laura earlier, she did know that his behavior had been prompted by genuine concern for her, not merely fear for himself.

She heard Marcus walk toward her again, and this time he spoke low and close, his voice full of bitterness. "All these months and you didn't realize I was serious," he said. "Were you?"

Kate's jaw dropped, and she turned around in shock. "How could you think otherwise?"

"How could you believe my intent was not marriage?" he asked, his disbelief mirroring hers. "You've been playing with me, Kate, using me – something I refused to do to you!"

"I have not!" she protested. "I would never treat you in such a manner! How can you even suggest such a thing?"

"You have just told me that after months of receiving my attentions and without so much as hinting anything, you've decided not to marry for possibly years! What else am I supposed to think but that you have been toying with me?"

"I did not come to this decision lightly, or easily," she started, but he cut her off.

"You also did not come to it with any input from me, the man you purport to love."

"As you consulted me on your desire to propose?" she snapped before she could check it.

"My hopes were for our mutual happiness," he countered, his face growing dark. "Your decision imposes a separation upon us of your choosing, not mine."

Kate floundered at the finality in his tone, suddenly afraid. His anger was unlike anything she'd ever seen from him. The look he gave her became cold and calculating and she recoiled from it, for underneath the fury there was so much hurt. She could not take it in.

"Was that it?" he asked with terrifying softness. "Were you seeking some way to escape my attentions and decided to make this vow of celibacy to accomplish it?"

She wanted to rage at him, scream and even slap him until he started making sense, but her voice would only come out in a whisper. "Marcus, how can you think so little of me?"

His lips twisted with cruel humor. "I have never been your equal, Kate. It has always been an obstacle that I feared. I wondered many times that you could dismiss it so casually, but now, oh now it makes sense! If you had no intention of accepting my hand, then of course you would not need to worry about lowering yourself by marrying me."

"How dare you?" she snapped, outraged. "Not five minutes ago you were protesting that you believed my intentions were honorable, and now suddenly I am so without dignity or basic decency that I would treat you in such a way?"

"That was before I knew the truth," he spat out. "This is exactly how you treated Lord Aaron! He was a tool, something you used towards an end. Do I mean just as little to you?"

Kate lost the last bit of her self-control and began screaming. "You're _defending_ him now? After your ridiculous jealousy, your petty attacks on my character and honor, now you want to paint him as a victim of my manipulations?" She could not believe the evidence of her own ears.

"You have just told me you were merely keeping me for entertainment until such time as you were able to procure a more suitable lover," he said with cruel derision.

"Marcus! That is not what I said at all!" she protested. She did not understand how he could believe that her decision meant that everything she had said to him – all the liberties she had allowed him for months – had been false. "Stop assuming my motives were so selfish!"

"Why else would you so casually throw away everything we have been to each other?" he roared, clearly frustrated.

"Duty!" she almost spat out. "You have told me over and over that you understand that my duty to the queen must come before all else, and yet once again you prove that you do not mean it, if you cannot understand that I can't desert her now."

"I could understand that better if you had consulted me on the matter at any point in the last three months!" he repeated. The cold, unnerving mask had slipped and he stared at her in a mix of frustration and bewilderment. "Why did you not tell me?" he asked again.

They were frozen in silence for a moment, and Kate realized that she did not know, even within her own heart, what the true answer to that question was. But her anger was too close to the surface and she dodged the subject. "Do you honestly believe that I intended this to end our relationship?" she asked incredulously. "That I was not sincere in my feelings for you? That I have been playing a part with you for months? You know me better than that!"

His face closed down and Kate felt a rush of fear at the resignation she saw in him. "I thought I did. But you would not be the first woman to use me in such a way."

Kate blinked. She had no idea what he was referring to, as he had never spoken to her about any of the rumors regarding his previous affairs or any other woman he had ever known. But then he turned as if to go. How could he just walk away after everything that had been said? It seemed he was determined to believe the worst of her without even listening to what she was saying. Panic bubbled up within her, along with another rush of anger.

"Marcus, if you walk out that door right now, I will never allow you through it again, except on the queen's business," she said dangerously.

He stood there for a long moment, his back rigid and his hand outstretched toward the door. Kate stared at him, her heart pounding in her ears with the gravity of her threat.

Marcus turned his head slightly, as though wanting to look back at her. But he didn't, his hand going to the door instead. Without a word, he walked away from her, leaving Kate staring at the empty doorway in horrified shock.


End file.
